Start by making eye contact with your husband. Give him a small smile and a light touch before beginning the actual kiss. Maybe put your hand on his face or touch his leg. Make him anticipate the kiss.  

Begin slowly and gently. You don’t want to rush into the kiss and bump teeth. Start with a kiss on the lips. Tilt your head to the side so that you don’t bump noses. When your lips meet, slowly squeeze his lips into yours.

After a while, you can morph this into a French kiss. Do this by slowly opening your mouth wider until you can put your tongue into his mouth and touch his tongue. Use your tongue. Tease him with light flicks. Go back and forth into each other’s mouths. Trace the edge of his lips with the tip of your tongue. Explore his mouth! Feel his gums and teeth with your tongue. Make sure to give him opportunity to reciprocate.

Don’t just kiss on the lips. He has other kissable parts too! Work on his neck and collarbone. Bite, but gently. Nibble his earlobe or neck. Maybe his bottom lip. If you’re adventurous, give him a hickey. Kiss his neck with a slightly open mouth. Suck in the skin. This will leave a mark so be careful where you do it!

Remember, a kiss is more than just your mouth. Use your hands. Don’t leave your hands limp in front of you or on your lap. Explore your husband’s body. Put your arms around his neck. Touch his arms. Run your hands down his back or chest. Run your fingers through his hair and massage his scalp. His body is exclusively yours for the rest of your marriage! Explore the goods!


Safe words are big in BDSM. This should be something other than “stop” or “no” because those words might be part of your roleplay where you’re just pretending to struggle against him. A good safe word to use is red/yellow/green. Think about it like traffic lights. Red means you need to stop. Yellow means you don’t need to stop but he should slow down. Green is to assure him to keep going. If you’re gagged, you should have some alternative to a stop word. This could be holding something in your hand that you drop to indicate you want to stop.

Start slow when you begin exploring BDSM. Very slow. Begin by just trying one thing and just that one. Then add in another. Don’t try too much at once. For example, let’s say you want to try getting blindfolded and getting whipped. Don’t try both together at first. Pick one. Let him spank you with a whip one time. Then, the next time, add in the blindfold. It might not seem like much but BDSM can quickly get overwhelming so take things slowly.